How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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