In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
