first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
