Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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