Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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