I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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