I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
