Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize