wat bout pragnant strippers??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
