i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
