So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
