i think i have herpe
just one?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
