Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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