your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
