That's intense
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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