I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
