Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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