Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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