I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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