first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
