I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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