just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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