Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
