I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
