I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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