Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
