sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
