we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize