i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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