you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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