I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
