Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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