On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
