i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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