Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
