No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize