But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I CAN MOONWALK!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
