well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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