Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just had sex on a roof
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
