Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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