GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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