She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
