i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There r osticjed everywhere
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
