Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
