why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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