This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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