I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you win again, gameday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
