Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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