Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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