Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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