haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
