You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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