you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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