Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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