You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
