What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
