Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
