Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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