I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
